I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
