How'd it feel making her break her religion?
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
