Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober