did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
