I hate all girls vehemently.
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Randomize
