How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Randomize
