I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize
