Sponge bath it is.
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
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