Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
there is glitter all over my balls
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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