Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Randomize
