We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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