you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
