We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
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