why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Randomize
