He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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