This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize
