You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Randomize
