Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
I can feel your judgement through the phone
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Randomize
