I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
No stitches, just platelets and will power
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
Randomize
