addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Randomize
