you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
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He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
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but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
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Randomize