I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
Randomize
