youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
