On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
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