i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
i believe in u and ur pee
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Randomize
