oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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