Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
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