Midget sex pt 2 tonight
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize
