i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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