do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
i need some magic done to my vagina
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
If its not for food we ain't going out.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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