He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
