everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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