i just google imaged poop.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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