the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Randomize