That's intense
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
She just used a chaser for red wine.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
