Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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