i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Randomize
