i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Randomize
