do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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