I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
