My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
