I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
