the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
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