i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Randomize
