Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize
