By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
