her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
