go do what you do best...puke behind churches
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
A bitchslap is in order.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
