I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
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shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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