Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Randomize
