Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
These 19 Underage Drinkers Epicly Got By With A Horrible Fake ID
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
These Are The 21 Strangest Sexual Fantasy Confessions
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours