we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.