I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Kareoke will never be a sober sport
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
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I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
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Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN