The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.