what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
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I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
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I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.