Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
high people should be assigned attendants
My pussy is not your playground.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Randomize
