I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
