Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
His hands were made for my vagina.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
