thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
I have tasted many bathrooms
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Randomize
