i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Randomize
