I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
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