he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
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i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
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I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
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