I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
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