She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
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