Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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