Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
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