you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
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