I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Randomize
