I am puke
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
