i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
Randomize
