They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
