I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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