Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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