Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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