Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
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