I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
40s are totally the cure
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize
