Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
There was a lot of him and a little penis
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
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