theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
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