I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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